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Little / Big



When I give you more,

you need more

There’s nowt as funny as folk

You niggle

Then, hands clasped,

with smile, and half-there, appreciation

squeeze the breath from me

You spring into life

and blow out, into my face, encoded

puffs of smoke

Can’t stand your unreal fuss

when I wheeze

You pretend you care of my upset

Smoke messages, that you intended

to be loved by me, the most

I’m not here just to appease

You take more

I should be grateful

It would be nothing for you,

You stagger away, wounded all-of-a-sudden,

as I choke

But, a photo of a girl I love

A knitted hair band, real, treasured moments

A hand to hold

The hands of Hope

buried in the everyday, the ‘insignificant

Everyday kindness, and gentleness,

makes me smile

And they all thought, in desiring ‘genuine’,

that I disturbed the quiet life, of no questions,

The social front and the lets not talk about it

In a world you have to keep..

and post

Purple knits and eyes twinkling, in smile

Go beyond sealing up what you broke

They go into the bank that my heart

will compile

A laugh and moments of human

It’s the little things that hurt me

And the ‘little’, joyful (big) things

and knowing they are coming

The mini, and silly

Of ‘nothing’

(When I’m never nothing)

That always, and never, mean the most


Because, there is an end to nights

where my brain fights me

and my sensitivity becomes my suffering

Your hands, my heart

The days when heart warming can’t reach in

and cuddle me

I’m alone

and in the dark

I need warmth, to be felt

This resolution that I can cope

Walk on the beach, a golden retriever smiling

Connection with a stranger, mysteriously,

and safely, now familiar

The minuscule, magnificent moments that help me the most

The fact that you exist

Your smile, your happiness, contentment

Your, and my, hope

They help me, as I put the pen down

and all the voices, tiny glimmers

Growing into enormous shimmers

You are more than just little

and to me, little me, will always be known.


Gripping my skin and closing it together

You never know you played your part

I will never tell you

But there was a whole journey

you are unaware of

An internal dialogue that went on an

adventure

To grey, misty

The stitches, that knitted into me

Like folktales that shifted into my being

and the life within me, that re-woke

Boundaries blue

Purple of true resilience

Knowing I can do this

I have before

Because there is beauty, and human

and real and authentic

The magic moments

of nothing

The nothing spun with hope..


..








..


old poetry



..


my words


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