Defence mechanisms and ways I divert
Don’t achieve anything
And just lead to hurt
Perhaps I learn what’s important
Or of what I’m deeply scared
But none of that means anything
Unless it’s notebook shared
Validated in therapy
Or used to build my self esteem
That I can be that honest on paper
Even if it’ll never be seen
You are weak and pathetic
I tell myself
Lacking the guts to bring your barriers
down
And I want people to speak of mental health
in the way they would of popping to town
You’re useless and everyone can see it
Your problems aren’t really that big
I’m ok, just fine actually,
.. and then I start to dig
I build a murky hole for myself
Of which I can’t climb out
Dirty, muddy and greasy
That’s what I’m told my life is about
Being tiny and not needing
Successfully hiding away
But I fancy building a bright ladder
not pleasing all by running away
It’s got to be time now
For the walls to come crashing down
For the lid to come off the sewer
For love and friendship to be welcomed
around
For lives positives to penetrate
Now that would really be the dream
Compliments and achievements to find a home within
The vulnerable soul, she’s peeking out
The real and honest person that I can be
I’m capable of saying ‘I need to chat, I’m struggling
Can we have a cup of tea?’
I know that this is it now
And finally it’s time
To ask for help in the real, beautiful world
and stop hiding behind the rhyme
Image credit: Canva
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