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Don’t know how


It’s my fault

I missed

when I try to reach for you

Misread you

Mislead you

I try

Disguise the feel,

I lie

But, don’t ever want

to strip

and free - peel

Sweet roses in sweet

gardens

have to deal with

the sharpness

of my tongue -

and pain

Never dream of ever deceiving you


Just don’t know how to

be open

Knife sliced into my chest

and wide open

Weight carried within my psyche

Put down

Gazing into all my rests

Why do I matter?

When does the cycle build again?

I believe in abundance

But, I, am the exception

Why do I want brand new, private, minutes

How could you ever

want years of me?

Natural, loving human kindness

Feels like I’m a monster

demanding you serve

Invite you, with sharp glory,

for the reprieve



Showing new wounds

Showing emotion behind

my scars

How do people do that?

unevenly, over

the cuts

becomes sour

You, bitter,

tasteless

With the scandal of my

own volition

and it becomes ours


Layers of letting you in,

indecision

I apologise for bleeding

You wanted to paper up cracks

with romance

Not watch acid pour into

-and dissect - my heart


In the revolution

does the tang ever make

way for, even a partial, solution?

Do I ever, even, relax?

What do I have to gain?

Bitter, not full of pain

Just envy

In my paper-thin

Tough wall of confusion

You, hanging your head in shame


Years of tissue forming,

unevenly, over

the cuts


Papering the cracks


Becomes the story of us


You wonder why

I foresee, from the beginning

Torturously threading the needle

For the pain

Forming, re-sealing, revealing

Maybe we were the wrong show

to begin with

I pushed through

Sharp pain - known

The wilt at the end of the act

Reach for sweetness

Get sour all the same


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